there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
