let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
