is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she told me i tasted like america
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
