you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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