and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
