went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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