I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
