Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
