I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
