i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
