All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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