It was confusing and full of hummus
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
