try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
