You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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