I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
