hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
