He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
