party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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