i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
