Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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