Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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