My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
