plz talk dirty to me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
