yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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