would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize