I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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