Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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