There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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