you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
