so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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