In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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