Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
