you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
