i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Success! We fucked roommates!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
