We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
