Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
