i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
