i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
