can u get pink eye on your cock?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
