One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
