you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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