I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
