So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
