Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
