I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
