He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
