Your dad touched me again.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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