we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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