Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
