You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Farmville is her only friend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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