C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
