I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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