I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
