i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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