Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
be right there i have to get my cape
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
