I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize