he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
