My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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