i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
