make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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