i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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