youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
