idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
