Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
