I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
