i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
