I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
