No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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