I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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