32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
