It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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